Life Explained...

This was sent to me by a coworker.

On the first day, God created the dog and said:

"Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

"Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:

"You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said:

"Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and
bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you...

Weekend Fun

This last weekend ended up being a bit of fun. Saturday, I made the trip down to Portland, Oregon to visit a friend (the one who came up to help me move).

Anyway, it turns out that it was gay pride down there. Now in the past, I've avoided those events like the plague. When I was younger, I went but as I got older, it lost its appeal... same with going out to the clubs.

Since my friend likes to hit the clubs every once in awhile, I figured I'd actually head out with him (usually, it's like pulling teeth to get me out). Besides, I thought it'd be a good warm-up for my trip to Vancouver, BC in August.

The evening turned out to be a lot of fun. There was a long line to get into the place so we struck up a conversation with the group behind us; two girls and a guy. This continued in the club as well; we all danced and drank together.

For once, the music was actually good enough (my opinion only) to dance to. Now THAT was a nice long bit of cardio. I'm no pro at dancing, but at least I didn't stumble into anyone.

So, as the night continued into morning, we moved over to the other dance floor; difference music that was mixed live. At first, it wasn't as good as the other music, but still enough to dance to. The DJ was not that good either. At one point, he couldn't find the song he wanted so he just left the current song repeating the same bit over and over and over and over and over again until he found what he was looking for. Now that was a bit annoying.

To add to the annoyance, some queen (yes, I'm using that term here as a derogatory) had some glow sticks on strings and was twirling them around smacking everyone in the head (and quite clueless to the fact as well). So, music stuck like a broken record and the fear of loosing an eye combined to suck the fun out of that situation. Thank goodness, the queen moved on and the DJ found that there are more songs than just the one he was repeating.

About this time, I leave the girls on the dance floor (they were dancing with each other and the other guys on the floor so I didn't leave them alone)... anyway, I headed back over to the other side of the club and ran into my friend again. We ended up getting in line for some more alcohol.

He gets the bright idea of getting shots of Tequila in addition to the mixed drinks. We shoot the Tequila and I pretty quickly down my mixed drink.

This side of the club is lighter and has better eye candy so we ended up staying there. Now the question is, is the eye candy here because it is brighter; more to be seen by, or is it lighter because the eye candy hangs out here? Hmmm... somehow, I think its the former. If only I can get that elusive six-pack, then I might consider taking my shirt off.

Last call came at 2 am and my friend and I figured we'd check the other dance floor to say good bye to the girls and guy we entered the club with. Couldn't find them.

I was ready to leave but my friend wanted to sober up a bit before leaving. I think he just wanted to watch people for a bit longer. The kicker here is that he was on the tipsy side but I was pretty sober... OK, on the happy side of sober. I don't know why I didn't get drunk; by all accounts, I should have been quite drunk since I had a lot of alcohol.

Total count was 2 shots of Vodka at my friend's place, a shot of Tequila, and 2 Screwdrivers. As most of my friends will attest to, I should have been drunk.

OK, back to the closing hours of the night. I went to stand by the wall and left my friend to people watch by himself. As it turned out, I ended up watching the new DJ who was quite nice to look at. Soon thereafter, this guy walks up and strikes up a conversation with me. He was a Japanese, German, and Polynesian mix... oh, and had his shirt off as well. Not bad.

We ended up talking (more like shouting) and danced a bit. He's got the Polynesian Hula down pat. Now that was actually pretty sexy dancing close behind him during the Hula hip movement part. Anyway, it went no further than hugging (my choice actually since one-night stands are more work that I cared to deal with that night).

We closed the club down (3 am), exchanged numbers (well, he has mine in his cell phone but I had nothing to write his down with), and parted ways. I met back up with my friend and we walked back to his place where we ended up talking for another hour. Finally, at 4 am, we headed to bed. God, I have not stayed up that late since college; was fun though.

Sunday was pretty low key and I headed back to Seattle in the afternoon.

Overall, it was a fun trip considering that I usually find the best looking guy with the best body in the room and compare myself to that. I did purposely stay away from the mirrors at the club though. It's best if I don't see myself next to the eye candies on display. Ha Ha!

ps: I took this picture with my cellphone on Sunday. The vine was on our walk to Starbucks in Portland; yup, have to have my coffee in the morning! Kinda cool flower though I'm not sure what kind it is.

Health & Fitness: The Road to 40

So here’s the deal. Obviously, I have been hitting the gym this year; I just have not been good about doing the weekly update on my progress. Since I’m lazier than Homer Simpson on a Sunday afternoon, I doubt I’ll be giving y’all weekly write-ups on my gym adventures (or lack thereof) anytime soon.

That does not mean that I’ve forsaken the gym; I’ve just forsaken the extra work of figuring out what to say about it on a weekly basis. As a result, I’ve discovered that the good people at Google have provided a nifty calendar for the masses. On this calendar, I will enter the days that I got a workout in. I have also entered all workouts for this year (previous years might be added later); yes, I keep a record of my workouts. I should have a much easier time keeping this up to date than posting every Friday on the week’s adventures.

Anyway, check out the sidebar. That is the new location of “The Road to 40” workout calendar.

Across the Universe (Pleasantville)

Now this is a trippy version... pretty cool actually.

Per YouTube, "Uncut music video for the song, "Across The Universe," by Fiona Apple (written by John Lennon), from the motion picture soundtrack, Pleasantville."

'Across the Universe

Going To A Town

A New Place to Live

As pointed out by a friend, I have been remiss in my bloging duties.

A lot has happened over the past couple of months. The biggest is that I have changed residences.

Two months ago, the managers of my old place informed me that my new lease would include a 20% rent increase! Twenty percent! That translated into an additional US$145 a month. Now I do not mind (and even expect) rent increases every year, but 20% is excessive.

In 2005, the place was sold to new investors. True to form (and the American Way), money trumps people. Starting last year, the new ownership proceeded to raise everyone’s rent in an effort to get it up to what they deemed to be market rate.

This year, the raises were even more dramatic. I was one of the lucky ones; some had their rents raised over US$245 per month. Needless to say, there is a mass exodus from my old apartment complex. The sad thing is; no one will be missed because the rental market in Seattle is so hot right now. Managers can pretty much charge what they want and gouge the consumer.

Fast forward to last week. I finally found a new place to move to. It’s a bit smaller than my old but still includes a balcony so I can keep my outdoor plants. In addition, there is an in-unit washer/dryer so that is a plus. My rent at the new place is pretty much what I was paying at the old (before the 20% increase)

Unfortunately, the new place is literally 60 feet from the freeway. To throw salt in that wound, the freeway is elevated at that point so every truck that rumbles by is amplified by the space underneath the bridge. I hope I’ll get used to it.

I started moving stuff over on the 16th and did the big furniture move with a U-Haul on Saturday the 19th. I had the help of two friends who made it go quickly. The first friend volunteered to come up from Portland, Oregon to help with the move. Yup, he is definitely crazy but I love him anyway! *evil grin* For the second friend, all I had to do was to promise that he’d get a great workout from moving all the heavy stuff and he was there (oh, and the promise of food and beer at one of his favorite pubs didn’t hurt either).

Now, with the move finished, I started the task of unpacking. That quickly came to a screeching halt when I discovered that the supposedly clean kitchen was actually pretty filthy. Great, I got to clean not only my old place, but my new place as well. I don’t mind cleaning up my own filth, but when it comes to cleaning up a total stranger’s filth, that is where I have major problems. Yuck!

I’ve finally got the new place cleaned and have gotten half way through the unpacking process. Smooth sailing after that right? Not so fast! Did I mention that I have one more friend? His name is Murphy... as in Murphy’s Law!

Monday I had taken the day off from work so I could go clean the old place and paint over the accent wall I had done when I moved there. I stopped at Starbucks for coffee before heading up to the apartment. I go to pick the cup of coffee up from the cup holder in my car and the lid pops off spilling coffee all over my car. Most of it was contained in the cup holder though. Unfortunately, the garage door opener to the new place was in the cup holder (there are two) as well.

I didn’t think much of it until I got back to the new place and discovered that the opener did not work anymore. Argh! Another two days of trying to get a new opener and I finally got one. But, that one did not work either. After another day of trying to get a hold of the managers, I finally was able to determine that the opener code was reversed. It now works.

Sometimes, you just have to stand back and laugh your ass off. I’ll have to wait until after I finish unpacking.

The Pacific Northwest According to Jeff Foxworthy

This is currently making the rounds at my office so I thought I'd add it here. It looks to be at lease a year old but still relevant; a little too true I think.


The Pacific Northwest According to Jeff Foxworthy

1. You know the state flower (Mildew)

2. You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.

3. Use the statement "sun break" and know what it means.

4. You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.

5 You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.

6. You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.

7. You stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" Signal.

8. You consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain.

9. You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and Veneto's.

10. You know the difference between Chinook, Coho and Sockeye salmon.

11. You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, Yakima, and Willamette.

12. You consider swimming an indoor sport.

13. You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food.

14. In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark - while only working eight-hour days.

15. You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.

16. You are not fazed by "Today's forecast: showers followed by rain," and "Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers."

17. You have no concept of humidity without precipitation.

18. You know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind.

19. You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you cannot see through the cloud cover.

20. You notice, "The mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.

21. You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear your hiking boots and parka.

22. You switch to your sandals when it gets about 60, but keep the socks on.

23. You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.

24. You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.

25. You buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time.

26. You measure distance in hours.

27. You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day.

28. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.

29. You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Raining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer), Deer &Elk season (Fall).

30. You actually understood these jokes and will probably forward them!

Reggie: Pet Food Recall

Well, it looks like Reggie is a victim of the tainted pet food. He was on Prescription Diet™ m/d™ Feline dry food.

I have contacted Hills in an attempt to get my vet bills reimbursed. They took my information but I have not heard back from them yet. I really can’t put a price on the “pain and suffering” that I went through during the first part of this year but I can put a price on what the Vets charged me; I even have receipts proving it.

Anyway, it really sucks that he had to die prematurely. But this information takes away much of the self doubt that I had.

Mount St. Helens VolcanoCam

Mount St. Helens National Volcanic Monument