I once had a discussion with a friend about how setting goals for myself does not work. I claimed that if I set a goal and reach it, what happens after that? Reaching said goal was usually anticlimactic and more often than not, a letdown since the excitement was in the road taken and not the final destination.
Well, it turns out that I had set a goal to be in decent enough shape for my trip to Vancouver, BC so that I could feel relatively confident to hit the clubs. Since that trip has come and gone, I have found that my devotion to fitness is now lacking. That fact is getting depressing.
Some people turn to comfort food when they get down, others turn into introverts; I have found that it is both for me. Recently, I find that I crave the comfort foods even more, don’t care to go out into the great sun and rain we have been having lately, and have avoided the gym like the plague.
Of course these things have a tendency to snowball into really big problems. I eat some cake because I’m depressed. I get fat because I eat cake. I get more depressed because I’m fat. I eat more cake because I’m depressed. See the trend?
For me, I eat cake and feel guilty about it (thankfully, my metabolism is still high enough so the cake does not turn directly into fat). I feel guilty about eating cake so I get depressed and become an introvert. I don’t go to the gym so I get even more depressed so I eat more cake. Welcome to hell.
The hard part about all of this is that there are definitely two personalities in my head (most likely more but the rest are quiet at the moment). The first one is depressed as all hell, the second one is angry that the first one is depressed and not keeping up with the fitness thing.
So, in an effort to kick start the first into feeling better about himself as well as calm the anger of the second one, I am trying my best to build up the energy to do five gym days next week. If that does not happen, the second will have to have even stronger words with the first.
Just call me Sybil.