The Last Song

How embarrassing is this?

So I'm sitting here in my office working away in a good mood. I got to the gym even though it was questionable that I would make it, it’s sunny out, and I’m just happy that I have a long weekend coming up.

Since I didn’t bring my iPod to work today (I didn’t think I’d be in the office), I pulled out a copy of a CD I have here and started listening to that. The album is Run Away by JTL (제이티엘), a hip hop group out of Korea. So I'm half listening to the album rocking away when the forth song starts to play. Now, I have not heard this album in almost a year so I didn’t really pay that much attention to the song… until the refrain.

Out of the blue, the refrain starts and without warning, I start to cry. I’m like, “What the fuck!” Then I recognized it. This was the song that I played in my car every time I took Reggie to the vet. The reason I used this song was that it has a soothing quality to it and I also can sing the words (I don’t speak Korean but I can sing some of it). Anyway, the combination of my voice (in a lower octave than the song) and the ballad of the song always calmed Reggie down since he despised riding in the car.

My god, this was the last song Reggie heard. The morning before he died, I took him to the vet with this on the car radio. OK, now I’m depressed.

Isn’t it interesting how we associate memories with music. I had forgotten all about this song and the meaning behind it but my subconscious remembered.

If interested, here is the song (in low flv quality).

One Down, Two To Go

Woohoo! I managed to schedule a workout today!

The cool thing is that I finished the business I had to do “on site” early, real early, so I went straight for the gym before coming to the office.

For Thursday, I am assuming that the gym will be closed seeing that it's Thanksgiving and all. However, if it’s open, I’ll be going that morning. If it’s closed, it’ll probably be a run around Green Lake again. Unfortunately, my shins are feeling a bit stressed at the moment; they better heal up quick.

The worst part of the week will be the day after Thanksgiving; biggest shopping day of the year (so they say). That means it’ll be way too busy for my tastes.

I Have A New Crush!

Saturday night I went to Martins Off Madison for dinner with a friend and our waiter was gorgeous! I'm not sure of his ethnicity but I'd guess there's a bit of Italian in him. He has jet black hair and piercing black eyes; nice forearms and great ass as well!

He was definitely working for a good tip. Every time he came to the table there’d be long eye contact; made my heart melt. Unfortunately, that dreaded deal breaker was on his ring finger. Even so, I gave him a great tip.

The pic is of the cyclone fireplace in the middle of the room.

Edit (December 15, 2007): Well, last night I was back there for dinner again with some friends. Mr. Gorgeous was our waiter! Oi! Anyway, one of the friends asked Mr. Gorgeous what his nationality was; it turns out that he is Samoan. Boy was I off; I'm getting rusty.

Talk Is No Longer Cheap

All that talk about adding running to my fitness regiment actually produced results; you got it, I ran the entire length of the Inner Loop at Green Lake on Sunday. I love it when a plan comes together. Unfortunately I'm still trying to figure out the rest of the week.

Also, note that I've added running and stairs to the workout calendar on the side bar. I'll be tracking those with separate symbols.

What A Difference An Hour Makes

You gotta love that extra hour in the morning!

Today marks the tenth day this month at the gym. I went from a mediocre turnout last month to every business day this month so far (excluding the first two days of course). Unfortunately, next week will be a bit of a challenge because I am away on business all day Tuesday and Thanksgiving is on Thursday. Hopefully I’ll at least get a jog in and some exercises at home both days.

I’d like to fill up the month but we’ll see.

Seattle Ink: Designing a Tattoo

The thought of getting a tattoo has always been in the back of my mind. However, now that my fitness level has increased dramatically, I think it’s time to turn that thought into reality.

Throughout my life, I’ve always followed the rules; followed what polite society expected of me. Ok, being gay is not exactly what polite society considers the norm… but still, everything else has mostly been “by the rules.” I’ve always been somewhat of a Mr. Goody Two-Shoes; I guess that goes hand in hand with being a nerd and a Christian (still a nerd but no longer a Christian).

This new-found lifestyle of fitness has gotten me to think that I’d like to celebrate it. The obvious way for me is to mark it with a tattoo; a symbol that I no longer care what society thinks of me (yeah, I didn’t believe that last part either but hey, it sounded good).

Anyway, I figured I’d design a tattoo and try it out using henna first; that way I can see what the concept looks like before I make the life-long investment. My idea is to ink up my right deltoid and upper bicep. Currently, I’ve got an Asian dragon intertwined with tribal marks.

I’m trying to finalize it enough to try with henna on December 1st. However, I don’t expect my final design to be exactly what I end up with. Hopefully, the tattoo artist will be able to improve upon what I bring in.

My goal is to go under the needle sometime between February and April of next year (unless the tattoo I want is cost prohibitive).

A New Goal

Yes, you read that right, there is a new goal. This is actually an ambitious one but achievable I think.

Remember The Road to 40? Well, I've upped the ante on that goal. Not only am I working to be in the best shape of my life by the time I reach 40, but now I'll be working for an actual 6-pack (and I'm not talking beer here).

To help me cut the fat, I'll be adding evening jogs around Green Lake for extra cardio. The biggest challenge will be to start the jogs; and as they say, "talk is cheap." So, my plan is to take the plunge this weekend during the day so I can feel it out in the daylight.

Since my birthday is in February, I have 14 months left.

Wanting It Both Ways

So I was at the gym again today (five for five, yea for me)… anyway, I was getting dressed for work in the locker room and noticed that one of the trainers came in and was changing his clothes. Of course, I had to steal a look (get your mind out of the gutter; I was checking his chest out, not his private parts). He is pretty cute but young looking and his body is definitely well developed. One might say that he is one of my many types.

Well, this whole situation got me thinking. I found that I actually got depressed looking at him. While I typically get depressed because I do not yet have that kind of physique, this time it was more for the fact that the guy didn’t even know I was there. In other words, he didn’t ask me out on a date. Yup, that was what I was thinking; go figure.

First off, why would I assume anyone would ask me out on a date in the gym locker room; it’s not like I talk to people in there. Second, why would he ask me out? I doubt he is gay, and even if he was, why would he risk his job hitting on one of the customers?

In public I don’t go around advertising my gayness and as such tend to overcompensate trying to look straight; not to mention that I get real shy around good looking guys. As a result, I come across either straight or as a stuck-up snob, or both. Now, in a gay bar that is a bit different; after I’ve had some alcohol to lighten up of course.

Another issue I got to thinking about was the whole looks/body versus personality concept. I am definitely attracted to athletic bodies but this labels me as a shallow prick since it’s what’s on the inside that counts. I am torn because looks and body only go so far in a relationship; without a personality nothing long-lasting will come of it.

When looking for a date, at what point does one know enough of someone’s personality to not require a physical attraction. I suppose that if you are around someone for awhile (say you work with them), that person who did not have “the look” might become attractive to you as you get to know their personality. However, if it’s a shorter period of time, say at a party or bar (or gym), one only has looks to go from when choosing who to strike up a conversation with.

This leads me to ask if brawns and personality are mutually exclusive. By not talking to the so-so looking guy (who might have a stellar personality) and talking to the brawny guy (who might have only a so-so personality), have I lost out? Does sexual attraction trump mental attraction? Where is the delineation point between the two?

Sugar and Spice and All Things…

…not so nice.

My fitness week is going well so far; three for three at the gym. It does help that everything is an hour later now. However, not all is going as planned.

Unfortunately, it appears that my sweet tooth has taken control. I’ve been perpetually craving sweets all week; even to the point that I caved to the temptation of a Starbucks pastry in this afternoon. Now obviously one pastry is not going to make or break my diet, but since I caved to the same temptation yesterday, I think there is a problem.

We’ll just have to wait and see if I can get rid of this addiction to sugar. It doesn’t help that the winter holidays are coming up, what with all the sweets that accompany them.

The Danger of Reopening Old Wounds

As this year nears its end and the sun shines less during the day, I find myself not able to be distracted like I was during the summer. As a result, I am starting to feel the loss of my cat again.

It seems like I am reminded almost weekly of Reggie now. I still miss him. Who would have thought that almost a year after his death the wounds of that loss would not have fully healed? Apparently, some still have a thin scab and are easily reopened.

With the cold of winter closing in, the nights are sometimes quite lonely without that fur ball curled up on the bed next to me.