Angry Zen

I am very disappointed with myself today.

You see, I have quite the temper. Over the years, I have allowed my temper to consume me. The slightest thing would set me off be it while driving, at work, or just hanging with friends. One day earlier this year, I was driving along and someone slighted me. This, of course, threw me into a rage; that dreaded “road rage.” I did some things and said some things that I am not proud of (no, I was not taking steroids so I had no excuse). Anyway, immediately after that I felt extremely embarrassed and from that day forward, I endeavored to find my Zen in everything I do.

For the better part of the year, I have been extremely successful in keeping my temper in check. Unfortunately, that success ended today.

Last week, I had scheduled an important time-sensitive meeting with one of the engineers in my office for today. Five minutes before the meeting time, I ran into him in the hall and asked if he was ready for the meeting. He played dumb. I reminded him of the meeting and subject and he flippantly said he could not make it because he had a dentist appointment.

Immediately I started to get the tell-tale signs that my Zen was not working; I got tunnel vision. The best I could do was just walk away. Now, that by itself would have been ok but it so happened that my boss was walking past and witnessed the entire exchange. He and I continued in the same direction as I started to pull no punches using extremely colorful language (with him agreeing with me about this guy mind you). Nonetheless, what disappoints me is that I started to cuss and let my temper flare (my boss has seen worse).

Before y’all get concerned, my job is not in jeopardy; we have a very relaxed office so my little slippage from Zen has no effect on my continued employment.